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Burglar Plays Dead At Funeral Home

MADRID, Spain - A burglar who broke into a funeral home tried to fool police by playing dead, but two things gave him away. First, he could breathe. Plus, he wore grungy clothes rather than the Sunday best of those settling in for eternal rest.

Police and the Crespo Funeral Home said Wednesday they had no idea what the 23-year-old Spanish man was trying to steal in the March 17 break-in at Burjassot, a small town just outside Valencia.

Neighbors living nearby alerted police when they heard the front door of the business being forced open in the middle of the night.

Police officers arrived with the owner, and eventually found the suspect lying on a table in a glassed-in chamber used for viewings of deceased people during wakes, a local police official said from Burjassot.

"The custom here is for dead people to be dressed in suits, in nice clothes that look presentable. This guy was in everyday clothes that were wrinkled and dirty," the police official said. Department rules barred her from giving her name.

"He was trying to fake being dead, but he was breathing," the officer said.

The suspect's name was not released. Police said he had served jail time in the past for robbery.

The funeral home said it was mystified about what the man could have been after, because there were no valuables or cash inside the funeral parlor.

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15 Comments

Current View: 15 / Show all Comments

oddjob458 : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

oddjob458

32 votes NegativePositive

583 days 3 hours ago...

The only thing he was there for was some cold pussy. He just needed to get his freak on.

NorwegianDelight : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

NorwegianDelight

5 votes NegativePositive

583 days 3 hours ago...

Eewwww...

Johnx64 : LVL 36: VP 4.4: said:

Johnx64

1 votes NegativePositive

583 days 3 hours ago...

He was after some embalming fluid

stoney : LVL 32: VP 4.1: said:

stoney

10 votes NegativePositive

583 days 3 hours ago...

hmmm maybe oddjob458 is right. hes probably there for cold pussy. how sad.

baklavafiend : LVL 41: VP 4.9: said:

baklavafiend

11 votes NegativePositive

583 days 1 hour ago...

^think of it this way: they don`t complain about his size OR performance!

rhuitron : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

rhuitron

0 votes NegativePositive

583 days ago...

Fucking Necrophiliac! That`s Just disgusting!
Seriously!

Even if you tried to explain that to somebody, How would you? What, You were looking for the Brand new 65` Plasma TV?
Installed into the coffins? This isn`t ancient Egypt you know!

NO!
5/5 for story,
-10/5 for the Pedophile! **

*Edit*
Not Pedophile! Sick bastard!
Thanks Shifty!

Violetninja420 : LVL 37: VP 4.5: said:

Violetninja420

9 votes NegativePositive

583 days ago...

"Fucking Necrophiliac! That`s Just disgusting!"
"-10/5 for the pedophile!"
lolwut

If i was the cops i woulda just played along...

"Oh, nothing here but this dead body, well, wanna start digging fellow officer?"

"Sure, why not? We could use the exorcise."

magikmicky : LVL 30: VP 3.9: said:

magikmicky

0 votes NegativePositive

582 days 23 hours ago...

he wasn`t playing dead he was just looking for somewhere to have a nap :P

Shifty : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

Shifty

4 votes NegativePositive

582 days 22 hours ago...

rhuitron explain where this pedophile of yours comes in?

rhuitron : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

rhuitron

0 votes NegativePositive

582 days 22 hours ago...

Comes in through The front Door! Didn`t you just READ?!
Lol!

^ sorry mate. Wrong word. I`ll edit.

And Yeah!
VioletNinja by far has one of the best responses in here!
5/5!

Equand1 : LVL 23: VP 3.2: said:

Equand1

1 votes NegativePositive

582 days 21 hours ago...

he was lookin for friends!!!

Elijah : LVL 49: VP 5: said:

Elijah

1 votes NegativePositive

582 days 20 hours ago...

I think when someone told him the best way to relax is to lie down and crack open a cold one, he kinda got it wrong.

ckyvick : LVL 34: VP 4.2: said:

ckyvick

0 votes NegativePositive

582 days 19 hours ago...

hahahahahhaah dumbass

Shifty : LVL 33: VP 4.2: said:

Shifty

1 votes NegativePositive

582 days 16 hours ago...

so if he comes in threw the front door does it mean u got molested jk lol man when i miss spell something i have the hardest time figuring out which one is the right choice it always has up to 5 choises dam it...

Enthasius : LVL 39: VP 4.7: said:

Enthasius

0 votes NegativePositive

582 days 6 hours ago...

I`m thinking the idiot was there to try and steal any jewelry the deceased may have on them, personal effects, rings and the like.

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Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009