Search Results for “wisdom”
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Video:
depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
remember, half the people you know are below average.
i feel like i'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
i just got lost in thought. it wasn't familiar territory.
on the other hand, you have different fingers.
the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in
the trap.
a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
if everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.
hard work pays off in the future. laziness pays off now.
what happens if you get scared half to death twice?
why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
light travels faster than sound. that is why some people appear bright
until you hear them speak.
the things that come to those that wait are the things left by those who
got in first.
inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
everyone has a photographic memory. some just don't have film.
when everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Video:
1. if you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
2. age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
3. going to church doesn't make you a christian any more than going to a
garage makes you a mechanic.
4. artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
5. if you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
before.
6. my idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. it is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. for every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. if you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. a conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
13. eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
14. men are from earth. women are from earth. deal with it.
15. no husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. a balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist
change places.
18. opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks
before you need it.
20. there is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. experience is a wonderful thing. it enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
22. by the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
25. blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease
to be amused.
