Upgrade your browser!

Skip to Content

Search Spikedhumor

Search in   

Search Results for “toddler”

There are 28 results.

  • You are currently searching All Media

Video:Man Admits Putting Toddler In Hot Dryer

man admits putting toddler in hot dryer

he admits to putting toddler in hot clothes dryer as punishment.

Video:Baby/Toddler Compilation

baby/toddler compilation

for the parents in our audience. a funny compilation of babies and toddlers being themselves.

Video:Toddlers First Roller Coaster

toddlers first roller coaster

one of the greatest parts of having a child is subjecting it to all of the joys the world has to offer. for example, roller coasters. toddlers love roller coasters, right?

Video:Toddler Falls on Train Tracks Full

toddler falls on train tracks full

from korea. a toddler falls in to the train track. no commuter consider rescuing the kid. until a high school kid jumps without thinking and moves like a ninja to rescue the kid. he get plucked out just in time before the train arrives. what a champ.

Video:Pair Of Toddlers Go On Destructive Rampage

pair of toddlers go on destructive rampage

listowel, ont. -- a pair of southwestern ontario toddlers are giving new meaning to the terrible twos.

after slipping out of their home, the two-year-old boys entered and "ransacked" a nearby bungalow.

they emptied the contents of the refrigerator onto the floor, rummaged through a bedroom and broke a sheet of drywall.

one of the boys even deposited his diaper in a basement aquarium housing three turtles.

ontario provincial police constable randy clarkson in listowel says they did a lot of damage for two little boys.

police say the pair may have been on the lam for as long as three hours.

kirotv

Video:Toddler Survives Yemen Plane Crash

toddler survives yemen plane crash

the airliner, with 153 people aboard, plunged into the indian ocean today. problems with the plane were pointed out two years ago. crews found one child alive and continued to search for survivors.

reporting from cairo -- a yemeni airbus-310 that crashed with 153 people into rough seas off the comoros island nation in the indian ocean today had been flagged for potential safety faults two years ago by the french government.

military boats and planes fanned out off the capital, moroni, searching for debris and survivors. the associated press reported that one toddler had been pulled alive from the sea. there were no reports of other survivors from yemenia airways flight 626, which was carrying dozens of french nationals from the yemeni capital of sana to moroni when it disappeared in bad weather on its landing approach.

the airliner was inspected in 2007 by french transportation authorities who "noticed a certain number of faults. since then the plane had not returned to france," transport minister dominique bussereau was quoted as telling french tv.

"the company was not on the black list but was subject to stricter checks on our part and was due to be interviewed shortly by the european union's safety committee."

the flight originated in paris, and passengers changed planes in sana for the moroni leg of the journey. the plane was carrying 142 passengers and 11 crew.

"we still do not have information about the reason behind the crash or survivors," mohammad sumairi, deputy general manager for yemenia operations, told reuters. "the weather conditions were rough: strong wind and high seas. the wind speed recorded on land at the airport was 61 kilometers [38 miles] an hour. there could be other factors."

the yemen news agency saba reported: "preliminary reports blamed the crash on tough weather."

the crash is the second time in a month that an airbus has slammed into the ocean. all 228 people aboard an air france airbus 330 were killed when the plane crashed off the coast of brazil on june 1.

comoros, a volcanic archipelago off the eastern coast of africa, proclaimed its independence from france in 1975. money sent home by comoros islanders living in france is an important part of the tiny nation's economy.

source, source

Video:Toddler With Super-strength, Super-speed

toddler with super-strength, super-speed

"jaw-dropping strength. breath-taking speed. phenomenal agility. olympian feats."

with origins and abilities worthy of fitting a comic book hero, these are words that reporters and doctors have used to describe liam hoekstra. the thing is this: liam is only a toddler.

born only 19 months ago, liam came into the world with many birth defects. he had a small hole in his heart, enlarged kidneys, frequently vomited and was born four weeks premature. medical records indicated that his biological father was "unusually strong".

due to conditional circumstance, liam was adopted at birth by the hoekstra family.

little did the family know that they were adopting a child with a very rare and special genetic condition.

the hoekstra's quickly began to notice liam being able to do things out of the ordinary. two days after birth, he was able to fully stand-up and support his own weight, given someone held his hands. months later he began developing ripped abs, naturally doing pull-ups, inverted sit-ups, olympic styled iron cross, thigh muscles compared to that of lance armstrong and even punching holes into walls during tantrums (accidentally gave his mom a black eye once as well).

what really amazed his family was what happened whenever he fell.

"when he fell backward, he would land on his butt, but he never hit his head on the ground," dana hoekstra said. "his stomach would tense up and he would catch himself before his head hit the ground. you could see his stomach muscles. he had a little six-pack," said his adoptive mother, dana, in an interview.

after further investigation into liam's ability, doctor's found he was genetically unique as he has a condition called myostatin related muscle hypertrophy.

in liam's case, his body's muscles reject myostatin, allowing them to undergo quick growth and repair.

what does that entail, exactly?

liam can expect to have up to 50% more muscle mass than average, ridiculous levels of strength, fast metabolism, and hardly any body fat. his mother mentions, "liam has never had any body fat...the only fat he has is in his cheeks."

myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy is a condition that is still somewhat new to scientific scrutiny, and until 2000, was not adequately documented as occurring in humans. before this time, the best known example was that from ridiculously buff belgian blue cattle, a picture of which is below.



while this condition is extremely rare in humans, to the point where doctors cannot predict with significant confidence how many people would have it worldwide, there were some concerns about liam's lack of fat, which is needed for proper neurological development. fortunately, like the other mentioned conditions that were present at his birth (all of which healed and subsided), liam amazingly has shown little to no problems.

the biggest concern right now for the hoekstra family is keeping liam fed and at ideal weights. with his enlarged muscles and super-fast metabolism, odds are he can probably down his fair share of giant steaks.

make sure to check out the source link below for more on this story, it is pretty neat.

source:
toddler_070530/20070530?hub=health">ctv

Video:Man Severely Bites Toddler's Ear and Lip

man severely bites toddler's ear and lip

doctors say the 3-year-old's ear was so badly mangled that surgery would not be able to fully repair it.

Video:Family Of Ecstacy Toddler Run Away From News Cameras

family of ecstacy toddler run away from news cameras

when a news camera caught up with the family to ask them about the video that was posted on the internet of the child taking drugs,they run like hell into their home.

Video:KISS as Toddlers

kiss as toddlers

the famous band, back when they used to wet their diapers!

Video:Super Mario Brothers - Toddler Terrors of Time Travel

super mario brothers - toddler terrors of time travel

bowser tries to go back in time to get rid of mario and luigi when they were young, but they go too far back in time.

Video:Amazing Toddler Climbs A Refrigerator Like A Monkey

amazing toddler climbs a refrigerator like a monkey

stay tuned for the inevitable video of this little girl falling off the top of the fridge directly on her face. until then, however, check out her amazing climbing skills.

Video:Toddler Solves Rubik's Cube in 114 Seconds

toddler solves rubik's cube in 114 seconds

simply amazing skill from this young japanese kid.

  • Votes 3.8333/5
  • Views 4909
  • Comments 27
  • Date 6/1/2007
  • by ibji

Video:Little Toddler Preaching at Church

little toddler preaching at church

brainwashing at its best.

Video:Toddler Helps Mom Give Birth

toddler helps mom give birth

olive branch, miss. (ap) -- a 2-year-old in north mississippi has done something few toddlers can: he helped his mother give birth to his brother.

bobbye favazza told the commercial appeal she went into labor this past friday and gave birth on the family's living room couch in olive branch. she said her toddler, jeremiha taylor, got her a towel and caught the baby before firefighters arrived to cut the umbilical cord.

favazza gave birth to a 7-pound, 4-ounce baby boy, kamron taylor.

she had been scheduled for a cesarian section on dec. 6.

city emergency services supervisor, greg mynatt, said the 911 call about favazza was probably the third this year about a woman in labor, but usually the mother makes it to the hospital before delivery.

source

Video:Parents Sue Dunkin' Donuts: Hash Brown Burns Toddler

parents sue dunkin' donuts: hash brown burns toddler

massachusetts --a franklin couple is seeking $200,000 in damages from a quincy dunkin’ donuts and its insurer, claiming their toddler burned his neck on a “dangerously hot” hash brown patty served at a drive-through.

in a civil suit filed last month, the parents of cullen macleod, 23 months, claim their son suffered “serious and permanent burn injuries” after the hot hash brown fell from his mouth and onto his neck, where it immediately stuck.

“it took only seconds for the extremely high temperature of the interior portion of the food item to severely burn and blister (cullen’s) skin,” attorney joseph k. curran jr. wrote in a complaint filed in norfolk superior court.

before handing the hash brown to her son to eat, the boy’s mother, robin, checked it and found it was “lukewarm,” the suit states. the family claims the hash brown heated up “unevenly” and that the food’s interior temperature was “unsafe for public consumption.”

the jan. 14 episode left the boy with burns on his neck and chin, the suit states.

curran, who represents robin and greg macleod, said the suit is different from the notorious mcdonald’s scalding coffee case.

“the perception attached to a case like this is that it’s a mcdonald’s-like case, which it is not. it will stand on its own merits,” curran said.

he declined to elaborate on the toddler’s injuries and said the boy’s parents are not giving interviews.

dunkin’ spokesman andrew mastrangelo said in an e-mail, “at dunkin’ donuts, the well-being of our customers is our number one priority. we have been made aware of the complaint and we are looking into the situation.”

the suit also accuses the franchise’s insurer, cna insurance company of chicago, of refusing to make a “good faith offer” to settle the claim.

a cna spokeswoman could not immediately provide a comment on the civil suit yesterday afternoon.

] source

Video:Toddlers Can No Longer Marry In Ark.

toddlers can no longer marry in ark.


little rock, ark. - arkansas' marriage-age crisis is over. a law that mistakenly allowed anyone — even toddlers — to marry with parental permission was repealed by a measure signed into law wednesday by gov. mike beebe, ending months of embarrassment for the state and confusion for county clerks.

lawmakers didn't realize until after the end of last year's regular session that a law they approved, intended to establish 18 as the minimum age for marriage, instead removed the minimum age to marry entirely. an extraneous "not" in the bill allowed anyone who was not pregnant to marry at any age with permission.

the bill read: "in order for a person who is younger than eighteen (18) years of age and who is not pregnant to obtain a marriage license, the person must provide the county clerk with evidence of parental consent to the marriage."

some lawmakers called for a special session last year, saying the error would make it easy for pedophiles to take advantage of the law. gov. mike beebe said he didn't see any imminent crisis and said the chances of children marrying under the law were slim.

legislators, however, had the chance for a do-over this week when beebe convened a special session to consider a hike in the state's severance tax on natural gas. they repealed the botched law, and reinstated 17 as the minimum age to marry for boys and 16 for girls.

rep. will bond, the sponsor of the botched 2007 law and its correction, apologized for the error and asked his colleagues to "throw me a rope and bail me out here."

"i always thought if you put your name on a bill, you should be ready to take the blame if you're willing to accept the credit," bond said wednesday.

bond, a democrat, said there hadn't been any reports of young children attempting to marry under the 2007 law.

source

Video:NYC Toddler Survives 20-foot Fall

nyc toddler survives 20-foot fall

new york - a toddler who crawled out a third-floor window during his family's thanksgiving festivities and fell onto a store roof not only survived — he didn't even break a bone.

brandon priebe said his 14-month-old son, bradley, tumbled from a bedroom window in his aunt's brooklyn apartment on thursday. his relatives said they thought the window was closed.

bradley fell about 20 feet onto the roof of a music store next door, police said. priebe told police that his son wasn't seriously injured in the fall. the boy was in stable condition later thursday at a local hospital, where no update on his condition was available early friday.

"it's a miracle," said anna priebe, the boy's mother.

source

ohhhh michael.

Video:Toddler Starved To Death; Didn't Say 'Amen'

toddler starved to death; didn't say 'amen'

' a toddler whose remains were found inside a suitcase was starved to death by religious cult members - including his mother - because he refused to say 'amen' after meals, police said today.

ria ramkissoon and three other members of the group have been charged with the first-degree murder of her son javon thompson, whose body was found in april.

u.s. police and the family of ramkissoon say that the group, based in baltimore and called 1 mind ministries, is a cult.

javon's food was stopped in december 2006 - when he was about 15 months old - partly because he refused to say 'amen' after dinner, investigators were told by two children who had been taken away from the cult by philadelphia police.

members viewed javon as 'a demon', the children said.

no medical care was sought for the toddler when he stopped breathing, and he died in his mother's arms, according to court records of police interviews with the two children and another informant.

the anonymous informant told police that cult member queen antoinette then left the boy's body in a room for more than a week, claiming 'god was going to raise javon from the dead,' court documents show.

afterwards, antoinette burned the clothing and mattress and placed his body in a green suitcase, which she would periodically open and spray with disinfectant to mask the stench, police say.

the group members allegedly left baltimore early last year for philadelphia, stowing the green suitcase and other luggage in a shed belonging to a man they had befriended.

officers found the suitcase, containing the remains of a small child, in april after a tip-off. they are now waiting for dna tests to confirm the boy's identity.

ramkissoon, 21, was awaiting a bail review today while being held in custody in a psychiatric ward.

the three other people charged over javon's death - antoinette, 40, also known as toni ellsberry or toni sloan; marcus cobbs, 21; and trevia williams, who turns 21 on tuesday - are already in custody.

they were arrested in may in new york on warrants charging them with failure to appear in court after a scuffle with police in a child custody dispute.

a fifth alleged cult member, steven bynum, has also been charged with first-degree murder but remains at large, police say. he is believed to be in new york.

ramkissoon's family said she should not be held responsible for her son's death.

'she had no control over that situation at all,' said her stepfather craig newton.

her mother seeta khadan-newton says ramkissoon was not behind the decision to stop feeding the boy.

'my daughter was a victim, just like my grandson,' ms khadan-newton said.

'somebody made that decision to not feed that child, and my daughter had to follow instructions.'

according to court documents, ramkissoon joined 1 mind ministries after javon was born.

ms khadan-newton last saw her in april 2006; she later sued for custody of her grandson, writing in a letter to a judge that 'the cult leaders' were preventing her from contacting her daughter.

source

Video:Keys Penetrate Toddlers Brain, Boy Recovers

keys penetrate toddlers brain, boy recovers

an american toddler has survived being stabbed in his brain, through his eye, with a set of car keys.

when nicholas holderman, 1, fell over at his missouri home, his father chris was shocked to find he was impaled on the keys - which entered his eyelid and penetrated his brain, the sun newspaper reports.

"it was a very horrifying sight to see this happen to your baby," mr holderman said.

nicholas's mother staci said: "i'll never forget that moment. nothing can prepare you for something like that."

doctors told the family the keys could be removed without damaging nicholas's brain but his eye had been ruptured.

but, in what has been declared a miracle in the us, just 15 minutes later another doctor examined the tot and found the boy's eyesight had not suffered at all.

"fifteen minutes later, for another (doctor) to say nothing was wrong, we knew it was a miracle from the lord", mr holderman said.

more than two months later, nicholas is a hero in his hometown of perryville.

"everyone will say, 'which eye is it?' we all grin and look at him and are so thankful and are reminded every day of what a miracle it truly is," mrs holderman said.

source

Video:Toddler Property Laws

toddler property laws

1. if i like it, it's mine. 2. if it's in my hand, it's mine. 3. if i can take it from you, it's mine. 4. if i had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. if it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. 6. if i'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. if it looks just like mine, it's mine. 8. if i think it's mine, it's mine. 9. if i... oops! i'm sorry, i goofed! instead of typing in the toddler property laws, i've been typing in bill gates' primary business plan.

Video:The Miracle Toddler Diet

the miracle toddler diet

people are always on the lookout for a new diet. the trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). consequently, people tend to cheat of their diets, or quit after 3 days. well, now there's the new toddler miracle diet. over the years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim. now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. you may want to consult your doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. good luck !!! day one breakfast: one scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. lunch: four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest). dinner: a dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat pepsi. bedtime snack: throw a piece of toast on the kitchen floor. day two breakfast: pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye. lunch: eat a half tube of "pulsating pink" lipstick and a handful of purina dog chow (any flavor). one ice cube, if desired. afternoon snack: lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in dirt. retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. then bring inside and drop on rug. dinner: a rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril. pour grape kool-aid over mashed potatoes; eat with spoon. day three breakfast: two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with fingers, rub in hair. glass of milk; drink half, stuff other pancake in glass. after breakfast, pick up yesterdays sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best chair. lunch: three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. spit several bites onto the floor. pour glass of milk on table and slurp up. dinner: dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red punch. try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible. final day breakfast: a quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of soap, an olive. pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes, add half a cup of sugar. once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog. lunch: eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. find that sucker and finish eating it. dinner: a glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. leave meatball on plate. stick of mascara for dessert.

Video:AVGN Toddler

avgn toddler

the anger begins

Video:Toddler Gets Daddy Arrested

toddler gets daddy arrested

a canadian marijuana grower was busted - after his 11-month-old son called the police.

the 29-year-old man had given the little boy a phone to play with.

and the little lad accidentally dialled '911' bringing mounties calling to their home in white rock, british columbia.

officers, who thought somebody had called them then hung up, broke down the door when their knocks went unanswered.

"the gentleman was quite surprised," said constable janelle canning.

the father insisted he hadn't called the police and claimed his son was far too young to have made the call, until officers saw him playing with the phone.

"we saw him playing with the cordless phone and just pressing all the buttons, so evidently he had called 911," const. canning said.

with that mystery solved, officers began inspecting the residence and soon discovered a 500-plant marijuana farm.

the father was arrested and faces drugs charges. his young son was taken into care but later given back to his mother who does not live with the father.

source


The Spikedhumor Drawing!Drawing Coming Soon!
Prize
Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

From Our Sponsors