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next time wear a brain, not a helmet.
1. why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress? 2. if a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth? 3. why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed? 4. why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's bob. i'm an alcoholic"? 5. if you mated a bulldog with a shitsu would you get a bullshit? 6. why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 7. why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer? 8. why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date? 9. why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 10. who was the first person to look at a cow and say "i think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? 11. what do people in china call their good plates? 12. if the professor on gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? 13. why does goofy stand on two legs when pluto remains on four? they're both dogs. 14. what do you call male ballerinas? 15. can blind people see their dreams and do they dream? 16. if wile e coyote has enough money to by all that acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner? 17. why is a person who handles money called a broker? 18. if quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 19. if corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. what is baby oil made from? 20. if a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong? 21. why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. but if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it? 22. why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass? 23. did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
a compilation of stupid people doing stupid things.
are some men this stupid?
katt williams - stupid people
what a stupid driver. that sucks.
this is a video compilation from the amateur movie 'balavci' - many crashes and other stupid things....
a funny video of people doing stupid crap and other funny stuff.
do you ever come across something so stupid, you just have to make a video about it? slate v editor andy bowers documents what he claims is the stupidest bike lane in america.
here are a few more ridiculous comic book covers with the addition of some amusing panels. click here to view the first gallery
a news report about attempts to ban a book about banned books. some people are just too stupid for words.
2 stupid dogs was a show about a lumbering sheep dog known as big dog and his excitable dachshund pal, little dog. the two would get ensnared in a variety of commonplace situations, with their stupidity usually leading to calamitous results.
shows you just how stupid some americans are. now i don't fully agree with the video, but it is funny...
yo mama's so stupid: she got hit by a parked car she looks for the sunday paper on tuesdays she put your puppy in the oven to make a hot dog she bought a solar-powered flashlight she invented glow-in-the-dark sunglasses /water-proof teabag/wheelchair with pedals she got fired from the m&m factory for throwing away the w's she thought taco bell was a phone company in mexico she spent twenty minutes staring at the orange juice carton because it said "concentrate" i strangled her with a cordless phone she sent me a fax with a stamp on it she sits on the tv and watches the sofa she asked me what kind of jeans i had on, i said "guess", and she said "uh, levi's?" she stands up on an empty bus when i asked her to buy me a color tv, she asked me what color when she saw the "nc-17 (under 17 not admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends she went to a 24-hr store and asked what time they closed she broke into a furniture store and slept on the floor she only has one toe on each foot, but she bought a pair of flip flops she writes "thank you" notes for her bills
actual dialog of a former wordperfect customer support employee with a caller: "ridge hall computer assistant; may i help you?" "yes, well, i'm having trouble with wordperfect." "what sort of trouble?" "well, i was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "went away?" "they disappeared." "hmm. so what does your screen look like now?" "nothing." "nothing?" "it's blank; it won't accept anything when i type." "are you still in wordperfect, or did you get out?" "how do i tell?" "can you see the c: prompt on the screen?" "what's a sea-prompt?" "never mind. can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "there isn't any cursor, i told you, it won't accept anything i type." "does your monitor have a power indicator?" "what's a monitor?" "it's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a tv. does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "i don't know." "well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. can you see that?" "yes, i think so." "great. follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." ".......yes, it is." "when you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "no." "well, there are. i need you to look back there again and find the other cable." ".......okay, here it is." "follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." "i can't reach." "uh huh. well, can you see if it is?" "no." "even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "oh, it's not because i don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." "dark?" "yes - the office light is off, and the only light i have is coming in from the window." "well, turn on the office light then." "i can't." "no? why not?" "because there's a power outage." "a power... a power outage? ah, okay, we've got it licked now. do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "well, yes, i keep them in the closet." "good. go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. then take it back to the store you bought it from." "really? is it that bad?" "yes, i'm afraid it is." "well, all right then, i suppose. what do i tell them?" "tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
"hello. tech support; may i help you?" "yes, well, i'm having trouble with wordperfect." "what sort of trouble?" "well, i was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." "went away?" "they disappeared." "hmm. so what does your screen look like now?" "nothing." "nothing?" "it's blank; it won't accept anything when i type." "are you still in wordperfect, or did you get out?" "how do i tell?" [uh-oh. well, let's give it a try anyway.] "can you see the c:\ prompt on the screen?" "what's a sea-prompt?" [uh-huh, thought so. let's try a different tack.] "never mind. can you move the cursor around on the screen?" "there isn't any cursor: i told you, it won't accept anything i type." [ah--at least s/he knows what a cursor is. sounds like a hardware problem. i wonder if s/he's kicked out his/her monitor's power plug?] "does your monitor have a power indicator?" "what's a monitor?" "it's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a tv. does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?" "i don't know." "well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. can you see that?" [sound of rustling and jostling] [muffled] "yes, i think so." "great! follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." [pause] "yes, it is." [hmm. well, that's interesting. i doubt s/he would have accidentally turned it off, and i don't want to send him/her hunting for the power switch because i don't know what kind of monitor s/he has and it's bound to have more than one switch on it. maybe the video cable is loose or something.] "when you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?" "no." "well, there are. i need you to look back there again and find the other cable." [muffled] "okay, here it is." "follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." [still muffled] "i can't reach." "uh huh. well, can you see if it is?" [clear again] "no." "even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "oh, it's not because i don't have the right angle--it's because it's dark." "dark?" "yes--the office light is off, and the only light i have is coming in from the window." "well, turn on the office light then." "i can't." "no? why not?" "because there's a power outage." "a power--!?!" ...[aaaaaaargh!]"a power outage? aha! okay, we've got it licked now. do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?" "well, yes, i keep them in the closet." "good! go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. then take it back to the store you bought it from." "really? is it that bad?" "yes, i'm afraid it is." "well, all right then, i suppose. what do i tell them?" "tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!"
warning: flamers may experience a brain-overload
don't be an inquisitive idiot!!!
don't know what were they trying to pull out, but they manage to break their bed and get hurt!
political humor.
i see the commies.
some guy backs into a parked car and slams through the gas station.
cincinnati (ap) - a man ordered by a judge to make sure his daughter hit the books has found himself in jail because she failed to earn a high school equivalency diploma. brian gegner, of fairfield, was sentenced last week to 180 days in jail for contributing to the unruliness or delinquency of a minor. he was ordered months ago to make sure his 18-year-old daughter brittany gegner, who has a history of truancy, received her ged - something that hasn't happened yet. brittany gegner, who said monday that she plans to take a required ged test this month, said her father shouldn't be blamed for her failure because she has been living with her mother. "it was my wrongdoing, not his," said brittany gegner, whose fiance and 18-month-old daughter also live at her mother's home in nearby hamilton. "he shouldn't have to go to jail for something i did." her mother agrees. "brittany is almost 19 years old now and i think it's unfair to put her father in jail," said shana roach. "she's an adult now, and it's not right to rip an innocent man from his home." butler county juvenile court administrator rob clevenger jr. said monday that the court still has jurisdiction in the case because brittany gegner was a juvenile when the truancy problems began and when the charge against brian gegner was filed in 2007. a hearing on a motion filed by brian gegner's attorney to reconsider the sentence is scheduled for friday. messages seeking comment were not returned monday at the offices of defense attorney tamara sack and the butler county prosecutor. brian gegner's wife, stephanie gegner, said she and her husband are afraid he will lose his job if he remains in jail. she said they tried to keep his daughter in school. "you'd take her to school and she'd go out the other door," stephanie gegner said. source have any interesting articles you'd like to share? article request thread.
wtf
