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i think he might go buy a real set of weights now.
that damn lil kid!
it won't matter.
the number of billionaires has dropped for the first time since 2003, going from 1,125 to 793. the average billionaire is worth $900 million less than last year. anthony mason reports.
this is one way to get the shit beat out of your kid.
chris rock's take on poor whites.
poor meter.
a rich man and a poor man are sitting in a bar late one night. they're talking about different things and then the poor man asks the rich man what he got his wife for her birthday.
"i got her a brand new mercedes benz and a 24-karat diamond ring", said the rich man.
the poor man, a bit puzzled by this, says "why in the hell did you get her both?"
the rich man replies, "i got her both because if she doesn't like the ring, she can take it back in her new car and exchange it."
after this, the rich man asks the poor man what he got his wife for her birthday.
the poor man responds," i got her a pair of flip-flops and a dildo."
obviously confused, the rich man asks why he chose those items.
the poor man replied, " because if she don't like the flip-flops, she can go fuck herself."
they've only gone and shaved the poor bugger!
this poor kitty's still feeling the effects of a vet visit.
who knows what he did but this poor guy is asleep and the cops come and taze the shit out of him....but he shouldve just stayed still instead of resisting...
after lisa accidentally allows for all music to be taken out of the school, the children walk into the music room and find no instruments at all. except for ralph's poor triangle. "look what they've done to my triangle."
yo momma so poor...
that your family ate cornflakes with a fork to save milk. they put her photo on food stamps. when i visited her trailer, 2 cockroaches tripped me and a rat tried to steal my wallet. she waves an ice lolly around and calls it air conditioning. burglars break into her home and leave money. when i told her about the last supper she thought the food stamps had run out. the building society repossed her cardboard box. she watches television on an etch-a-sketch. each night she goes to kfc to lick other folk's fingers she can't even afford to go to the free clinic. when i saw her kickin a can down the road i asked her what she was doing....'moving' she replied. when i rang her doorbell, she said 'ding-dong' i asked her where the 'facilities were' and she replied - "pick a corner...any corner..." i visited her house, tore down the cob webs and she screamed - "who's tearing down the drapes!!!!" i walked into her home, asked if i could use her toilet, and she said "sure thing, it's 4th tree on your right..." only time she smelled hot food was when a rich bloke farted... when i saw her wobbling down the street with 1 shoe, i hollered - "lost a shoe?", and she said - "nope...just found one..." she hangs the toilet paper out to dry. she had to take out a second mortgage on her cardboard box. i once threw a stone at a garbage can, and out she popped saying - "who knocked???" i went through her front door and tripped over the back fence. she does drive by shootings on the school bus. when she asked me over to dinner i took a paper plate from the kitchen and she screamed - "don't use the good china
adolf hitler had "shocking" table manners, gorged on cake in his bunker and suffered from flatulence, psychological profile documents show. [so basically he was a man?!] the dictator also bit his fingernails at meal times and nervously rubbed his index finger back and forth across his moustache, the newly discovered papers disclose. the top secret papers also state hitler believed goebbels' own propaganda about himself and genuinely thought he was the "greatest military genius of all time". the revelations show hitler had a "streak of passive masochism" in his relationships with women. the fuhrer's daily routine and "uncouth" behaviour were recorded in notes taken from a high-ranking nazi who spilled the beans to a british agent. the document, resembling a psychological profile of hitler, is dated may 1945 - three days after his death - and states on the front: "this summary must be destroyed within 48 hours". despite this, the papers were retained by the agent who is believed to have kept them at his home in the south-west of england. they have now surfaced for the first time in more than 60 years after a recent house clearance. they give a fascinating glimpse into hitler's everyday life in his bunker and mentions his alleged homosexuality and his fondness for rudolph hess. they tell of how his eating habits led to a "bay window", referring to his expanding waistline. the nazi who gave the insight was convinced hitler was mad and quoted a little girl speaking about the fuhrer: "mami, will the lunatic chew up our carpets too?" the unidentified pow, who might not have known about his leader's death, had dined with hitler about 30 times and kept his diary in the bunker. he stated: "hitler eats rapidly, mechanically, for him food is merely an indispensable means of subsistence. "...he does not smoke and it is strictly forbidden to smoke in his presence as he seems to be very susceptible to laryngitis." the source said conversation at the dinner table in the bunker had the effect on hitler that music did on others, and it stimulated his thoughts and relaxed him. the document continues: "he talks in a mellow baritone, without that raucous, unpleasant stridency of his public speeches. "at the table and in his speech he shows many facets of rather uncouth behaviour. "he abstractedly bites his fingernails, he runs his index finger back and forth under his nose, and his table manners are little short of shocking." the nazi being quizzed said that late at night hitler retired to his private rooms where he would drink "health tea" and listen to his phonograph. the document states that hitler..."ate prodigious amounts of cake (this cake eating was responsible for a slight digestive disorder and the addition of a bay window to his already not too fortunate figure.) "quite often he would retire into this privacy with some women whom he esteemed very much (during later years particularly with a miss braum whose relationship to hitler is quite unknown). "it is not believed that in these sessions with women hitler's attitude intensified to any more than a platonic relationship. "(the rumours about his homosexuality and other abnormal obsessions were rumours and nothing more. if there was any such streak in him, it was a touch of passive masochism in his relationship with women.)" with regards to hitler's relationship with rudolph hess, who bizarrely flew to scotland in 1941, he said the fuhrer never had a closer friend. he added: "hitler loved him like a brother. instinctively perhaps hitler felt that hess carried the germ of latent insanity and it just served to increase the fuhrer's affection and solitude for the man." but he added that after hess's flight from germany hitler bore the loss "stoically enough." talking about hitler's delusions, the source states that goebbels' techniques were so effective that "hitler himself became very susceptible to this propaganda. "he then actually started believing that he was a man of exceptional ability in the science of warfare." auctioneer richard westwood-brookes, who is selling the papers found during a house clearance, said: "this is a british army intelligence summary dated may 3rd 1945. "it is marked "secret, copy no 173" and also clearly marked "this summary must be destroyed within 48 hrs of receipt" - but this one was clearly not destroyed. "it is a highly important document which has clearly survived through extraordinary circumstances. "it was found during a routine house clearance and it is possible that the man whose house it was had been in a position to receive this report. "rather than destroy it he kept it. perhaps he then forgot about it or perhaps he chose not to show it to anyone because it was supposed to have been destroyed. "possibly the most important element of this document is the statement of a captured german lt colonel who kept the war diary in hitler's bunker. "he enjoyed a very close relationship with hitler having eaten at the same table with him at least 30 times. "the statement provides a vivid personal description of hitler in his last days and his behaviour in the bunker. "it mentions a digestive disorder which could be a reference to his flatulence, but denies the rumours that hitler was homosexual. "this remarkable document is potentially unique, given the requirement that it should have been destroyed within hours of receipt." the documents are being sold at ludlow racecourse on march 5 and are estimated to fetch up to £1,000. source
spare some change?
aww, it's ok.
where did that pole come from?
a lesson learned the hard way.
what did he do to deserve it?
it's well known that cats are afraid of water.
how sad is this...
well he's skint as skint can be. but he's still enjoying his own island with swimming pool.
no matter which one reaches out first, it can't be good for the fish.
having a bad day.
