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yep. drunken jackie is at it again.
the man show guys stir up trouble at the airport as drunken pilots.
two blokes were walking along a road when they were struck by a police car driven by a drunken cop. one bloke was thrown through the windscreen and his mate was knocked down an embankment. the first bloke was charged with breaking and entering and the second with leaving the scene of an accident.
named after its imitation of a drunkard's movements, its kung-fu style is based on the philosophy that the staggering stance creates unpredictability that is difficult to defend against. it also uses weight shifting to avoid attack. here, jackie chan is displaying the 'eight drunken immortals', including a female immortal.
here's jackie chan using his drunken boxing skills against tae kwon do. one of his best fight scenes from the 90s.
thanks to kelly sweeney for sending this in; according to them, this footage is from a party where just about everyone was drunk. the kid in the video was really, really drunk and tried to find someone to fight, steps up to a bigger guy, and gets punched out cold. there's some other drunken footage from 'earlier that night' that follows.
a group of neighbors in a florida neighborhood captured and then beat a man who took a 5-year-old on a drunken atv ride.
witnesses said the man was driving the vehicle drunk with the child on board. luckily, the child was not injured in the crash.
after the crash, several neighbors held the man and then beat him until police arrived. the man was transported to the seminole county jail.
it is not known if any of the neighbors involved in the beating will be charged.
local6.com
a drunken man walks into a biker bar, sits down at the bar and orders a drink. looking around, he sees three men sitting at a corner table. he gets up, staggers to the table,leans over, looks the biggest, meanest, biker in the face and says: "i went by your grandma's house today and i saw her in the hallway buck naked. man, she is one fine looking woman!" the biker looks at him and doesn't say a word. his buddies are confused, because he is one bad biker and would fight at the drop of a hat. the drunk leans on the table again and says: "i got it on with your grandma and she is good, the best i ever had!" the biker's buddies are starting to get really mad but the biker still says nothing. the drunk leans on the table one more time and says, "i'll tell you something else, boy, your grandma liked it!" at this point the biker stands up, takes the drunk by the shoulders looks him square in the eyes and says................... "grandpa,....... go home, you're drunk."
this is a new weekly column. if you have a story that you would like to see here, email it to me at xxoozero@yahoo.com. your identity will be kept confidential. damn legs, always breaking… my 20th birthday starts off well, 50 odd friends dwindles down to around 4 by the early hours of the morning. by this time we have killed off the beer kegs and bottles of spirits and things were looking like dying off till i came up with the great idea that it was time to break into my top shelf collection. we drink a few more bottles between the 4 of us then great idea two hits in; i’m going to walk the lad’s home because they are too pissed. more… drunken cross dresser gets free weed… this happened a few years ago, a friend of mine was throwing a party and he decided to have live music so he talked to me and a few other guys and got my band along with two other bands to play. he lives in a pretty big house with a good sized backyard and a nice patio that we would use as a stage. the festivities started at 6:30 pm, the first band went on at 7:00 pm. they played for about 30 minutes and then the second band went on. they played for about 45 minutes… more… the prerequisite “balls on my face” story… the last week of the summer holidays was my canadian friends last week here (uk) before he moved back to canada. we wanted to have a pretty decent going away piss up. i forget exactly how much alcohol we had but i think it was a lot. there were only about 6 of us there, just people that had known him well. we started drinking at about 7 or 8 i guess. one of the last things i remembered was playing this game that my friend explained to me in a slurred way… more… the only way to ditch school… one thursday night me and my friend where talking and we had been contemplating on whether or not we should skip school on friday and go to one of his friends house for a small getty that would have plenty of alcohol, or go to school and face several teachers that would bitch us out for not bringing homework in. so we decided we would just fuck it and go get hammered… more… never leave witnesses alive… one night i got drunk with my friends down in yonkers and we were walking home and i went into a deli blasted out of my mind. i walked inside and apparently i was taking all the loose candies and putting them down my pants and they exited the bottom of the pants. i continued to do so while walking down the aisle… more… never cross the manager of mcdonalds… on graduation night, every student had one mission, which was painstakingly clear and simple: to get as wasted as possible as soon as possible. i was aware of this task, and within the first hour of drinking had thrown back a six-pack of millers beer, and was clutching a 700ml bottle of jim beam & cola for my second hour of drinking… more… and now for this weeks stoner story, a fellow loses a bet… alright so here's my shitty stoner story. i had just popped my bud's herb cherry, and, surprisingly enough, he was lit off his ass with some superb canadian exo's. anyway, a bit prior, we had run out of food at my place, having polished off a crapload of chinese food between a family of four. all we had left were some packets of duck sauce and some (by that time crunchy) white rice. my friend, stumbling around like hunter s. in the midst of an ether binge, makes his way to the kitchen for some "munsheez." half giggling and half grunting, he begins to rummage through my fridge, all the while mumbling about the complete lack of food… more…
this squirrel got drunk off many fermented pumpkins, and the way he acts probably will remind some of you on a friday or saturday not too long ago...
these girls don't know what they are doing or where they are.
a great clip of elvis too drunk to remember his own lyrics.
how not to dance at a party.
get drunk and wind up with your bed in the bathroom.
choose a hat and kill your enemies
gotta love it!
this guy is clearly very drunk and eventually gets arrested.
after a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, ''you wanna hear a blonde joke?''
the person replies, ''i am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. my friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. and my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?''
the man thinks for a while and replies, ''not if i have to explain it three times.''
a squirrel drinking beer.
maher discusses rumours that bush is back on the sauce with panelists christopher hitchens, katty kay and george galloway.
jackie chan and some old dude fights off a gang with axes...
jackie chan just walks up in the factory and starts kicking the shit outta them... and also the last fight scene in the movie... (~52mb)
man this was sweet to watch.
william m. bowen woke up after a night of drinking with friends and realized he was inside a commercial trash-collection truck full of waste. the driver had just emptied a commercial trash bin into his truck and was about to activate its compactor when he heard bowen screaming. "he looked up and this gentleman was standing out the top of our truck," said larry green, market safety supervisor for the rumpke waste disposal company. green said the only thing bowen said to the driver was that he was cold. "this gentleman was extremely intoxicated," he said. bowen told police he had been drinking with buddies at a muncie bar until about 3 a.m. thursday. but he said he didn't recall how he ended up inside the trash bin, and he wouldn't tell police who his drinking pals were. bowen was treated for minor injuries. "i'm just glad it turned out the way it did," green said. "we didn't have a body that was dead. we had a body that was talking." there was no telephone listing for bowen in the muncie area. source
