Upgrade your browser!

Skip to Content

Search Spikedhumor

Search in   

Search Results for “doctor”

There are 83 results.

  • You are currently searching All Media

Video:WKUK - Homophobic Doctor

wkuk - homophobic doctor

a homophobic doctor.

Video:Meet the Doctor of Death

meet the doctor of death

a doctor teaches patients how to die.

Video:Doctor adds insult to injury

doctor adds insult to injury

"trust me, i'm a doctor" wouldn't describe one japanese medic who has landed in hot water after hitting and abusing a patient during surgery.

the elderly female patient at a hospital in shiga, central japan, was given a local anaesthetic for an unspecified operation early last month, but began thrashing around on the operating table and yelling at the doctor to stop.

after trying to persuade her to calm down, the doctor hit the patient on the forehead and yelled at her to shut up, a hospital spokesman said. the patient needed five days to recover from the injury to her forehead.

the operation was re-conducted last week by another doctor.

source:  yahoo

Video:Doctor

doctor

this woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. she rattles off: “doctor, take a look at me. when i woke up this morning, i looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and i had this corpse-like look on my face! what's wrong with me, doctor!?”

the doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: “well, i can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight....”

Video:Scrubs - S4EP10 - Brutal Doctor Race

scrubs - s4ep10 - brutal doctor race

dr. kelso announces that an important patient is coming to the hospital. the first doctor to his office gets to treat him and since every doctor want that job... it get a little brutal getting to dr. kelso's office.

Video:The New Doctor in Town

the new doctor in town

a young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring. the older doctor suggested the young one accompany him on his rounds so the community could become used to a new doctor.

at the first house a woman complained, "i've been a little sick to my stomach." the older doctor said, "well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

as they left the younger man said, "you didn't even examine that woman. how'd you come to your diagnosis so quickly?"

"i didn't have to. you noticed i dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? when i bent over to pick it up, i noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash. that was what was probably making her sick."

"huh," the younger doctor said, "pretty clever. i think i'll try that at the next house." arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. she complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did. "i'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"you've probably been doing too much work for the church," the younger doctor told her. "perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

as they left, the elder doc said,"your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?

"well, just like you did at the last house, i dropped my stethoscope and when i bent down to retrieve it, i noticed the preacher under the bed."

Video:Trip To The Doctors...

trip to the doctors...

an 80-year old man was having his annual checkup and the doctor asked him how he was feeling. “i've never been better!” he boasted. “i've got an 18-year-old bride who’s pregnant and having my child! what do you think about that?”

the doctor considered this for a moment, then said, “let me tell you a story. i knew a guy who was an avid hunter. he never missed a season. but one day, he went out in a bit of a hurry, and he accidentally grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun.”

the doctor continued, “so he was in the woods, and suddenly a grizzly bear appeared in front of him! he raised his umbrella, pointed it at the bear and squeezed the handle. and do you know what happened?” the doctor queried.

dumbfounded, the old man replied, “no.”

the doctor continued, “the bear dropped dead in front of him!”

“that’s impossible!” exclaimed the old man. “someone else must have shot that bear.”

replied the doctor, “that’s kind of what i'm getting at.”

Video:A 90-year-old man said to his doctor

a 90-year-old man said to his doctor

a 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "i've never felt better. i have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. what do you think about that?"

the doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "i have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. one day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. when he got to the creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. he raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. what do you think of that?"

the 90-year-old said, "i'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

the doctor replied, "my point exactly."

Video:Three Doctors

three doctors

three doctors were sitting around after work comparing their greatest achievements. the first said, "one time i had a patient who managed to break all of his fingers in a terrible moving accident, but after i fixed him up he played the piano so well he was invited to perform at carnagie hall.

the second doctor replied, "not bad. i on the other hand once fixed up an olympic figure skater after a bus crash. she went on to win three gold medals in her career." they both looked at the third doctor.

"well, you both have done some mighy fine things. but i once had to completely reassemble a cowboy who was so doped up on cocaine he charged his horse into an oncoming train.

"all i had to work with was a 10-gallon hat and and a horse's ass. but you wanna know something? that man became the president of the united states."

Video:Two Doctors

two doctors

two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up a sign reading,

"dr. smith and dr. jones, psychiatry and proctology." the town fathers were not too happy with the sign, and they proposed "hysterias and posteriors."

the doctors didn't find it acceptable, so they suggested "schizoids and hemorrhoids."

the town didn't like that either and countered with "catatonics and highcolonics."

thumbs down again. by now the story was in the papers, and suggestions began rolling in:

"manic-depressives and anal-retentives."
"minds and behinds."
"lost souls and ass-holes."
"analysis and anal cysts."
"queers and rears."
"nuts and butts."
"freaks and cheeks."
"loons and moons."

none of these satisfied one side or the other, but they finally settled on "dr. smith and dr. jones, odds & ends."

Video:A Doctor

a doctor

a doctor walked into a bank. preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to 'write' with it.

realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "well that's great, just great... some asshole's got my pen."

Video:Bad Doctor - Jam

bad doctor - jam

man goes to doctor and gets unexpected examination. from 2000 tv series jam by chris morris.

  • Votes 4.4809/5
  • Views 1054
  • Comments 4
  • Date 10/24/2008
  • by Akita

Video:The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus Movie Preview

the imaginarium of doctor parnassus movie preview

behind the scenes with director terry gilliam
the imaginarium of doctor parnassus is a fantastical morality tale, set in the present day. it tells the story of dr parnassus and his extraordinary `imaginarium`, a travelling show where members of the audience get an irresistible opportunity to choose between light and joy or darkness and gloom.

heath ledger - tony
johnny depp - tony
colin farrell - tony
jude law - tony
christopher plummer - dr. parnassus

Video:Doctors Remove 10LB Hairball From Woman

doctors remove 10lb hairball from woman

(cnn) -- it may not be the most appetizing reading before a hearty holiday meal, but the new england journal of medicine is devoting part of its thanksgiving issue to a giant hairball -- and not the feline kind.

doctors say this hairball removed from a woman's stomach weighed 10 pounds(4.5kg).

the prestigious journal details the case of a previously healthy 18-year-old woman who consulted a team of gastrointestinal specialists.

she complained of a five-month history of pain and swelling in her abdomen, vomiting after eating and a 40-pound weight loss.

after a scan of the woman's abdomen showed a large mass, doctors lowered a scope through her esophagus.

it revealed "a large bezoar occluding nearly the entire stomach," wrote drs. ronald m. levy and srinadh komanduri, gastroenterologists at rush university medical center in chicago, illinois.

for the uninitiated, a bezoar is a hairball.

"on questioning, the patient stated that she had had a habit of eating her hair for many years -- a condition called trichophagia," they wrote.

"it seemed like she'd been doing this for several years," levy told cnn.

the woman underwent surgery to remove the mass of black, curly hair, which weighed 10 pounds and measured 15 inches by 7 inches by 7 inches, the doctors said.

five days later, she was eating normally and was sent home.

a year later, the pain and vomiting were gone, the patient had regained 20 pounds "and reports that she has stopped eating her hair."

reached at his home in chicago, levy said he had no idea whether the journal's timing of the publication on thanksgiving was intentional.

either way, he said, it would not affect the gastroenterologists' holiday dinner plans -- "we don't get fazed by much.

source

Video:Doctors 'Find Tree' in Man's Lung

doctors 'find tree' in man's lung


article submitted by master911.

a fir tree has been found growing inside a man's lung by surgeons who were operating on him for suspected cancer.

the tree, measuring 5cm, was discovered by russian doctors when they opened up artyom sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a tumour.

medical staff believe that mr sidorkin somehow inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.

the patient had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. doctors were convinced he had cancer.

'we were 100 per cent sure,' said surgeon vladimir kamashev from izhevsk in the urals. 'we did x-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour. i had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery.'

before removing the major part of the man's lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue taken in a biopsy.

'i thought i was hallucinating,' said dr kamashev. 'i asked my assistant to have a look: "come and see this - we've got a fir tree here".

'he nodded in shock. i blinked three times as i was sure i was seeing things.'

they believed the coughing of blood was caused by the tiny pine needles piercing blood capillaries. 'it was very painful. but to be honest i did not feel any foreign object inside me,' said mr sidorkin. 'i'm so relieved it's not cancer.'

the report appeared in popular tabloid komsomolskaya gazeta, and was picked up by russian news service novosti.

source

Video:Killings Strike Fear Into Indian Witch Doctors

killings strike fear into indian witch doctors

with a traditional woven cloth covering her hair, elaborate jewelry and a red mark on her forehead signifying her married status, dimbeswari bhattarai looks like any other woman in this corner of isolated northeast india.

but bhattarai, 62, is far from ordinary.

she claims to possess special powers which enable her to cure diseases, predict the future and drive away evil spirits. bhattarai is a witch doctor, or ojha, as the tribal people of assam state call them.

full story

Video:Whose Line - Film Dubs:

whose line - film dubs: "doctor's lab"

greg, colin and ryan play a game of film dubs. very funny, i swear!!!

Video:Borat At The Doctor - Deleted Scene AVI

borat at the doctor - deleted scene avi

i have once contracted herpes from sister.

Video:the Good Doctor

the good doctor

good public service announcement

Video:Eye Doctor

eye doctor

trip to the opticians.

Video:Billy Witch Doctor Dot Com

billy witch doctor dot com

master shake dies, so the rest of em try to bring him back with the help of a witchdoctor.

Video:Doctor who's ultimate nemisis

doctor who's ultimate nemisis

the coolest mf in the history of british tv.

Video:Doctor

doctor

why do ducks have webbed feet?

to stamp out fires.

why do elephants have flat feet?

to stamp out burning ducks

Video:Doctors Baffled As HIV Positive Man Cures Himself

doctors baffled as hiv positive man cures himself

a british man who tested positive for hiv, the virus that causes aids, has subsequently shown up negative for the disease in a case that has mystified doctors.

it was claimed last night that andrew stimpson, 25, may have shaken off the virus with his own immune system after contracting hiv in 2002.

if proved, the nhs has said the case would be “medically remarkable”. it could provide vital information to researchers looking into treatments for hiv and aids, which has killed more than 3m people wordwide since the 1980s

the chelsea and westminster healthcare nhs trust, which treated stimpson, has said he needs to undergo more tests before it can be established how he apparently conquered hiv.

“these tests were accurate and they were his, but what we don’t know at the moment is why that has happened, and we want him to come back in for more tests,” said a spokeswoman. “it is potentially a fantastic thing.”

stimpson was tested three times in august 2002 at the victoria clinic for sexual health in central london and the results showed he was producing hiv antibodies to fight the disease.

stimpson, originally from largs in ayrshire, contracted the virus from his boyfriend, juan gomez, 44. he began taking vitamins and other dietary supplements to keep his body healthy in the hopes that this might fend off the development of full-blown aids.

in october 2003, after impressing doctors with his good health, stimpson was offered a new test, which came back negative. further tests in december 2003 and march last year also proved negative.

“it was the last thing i expected. i was astonished. i was baffled too,” he told the news of the world. “i couldn’t understand how anyone could cure themselves of hiv . . . i thought it had to be wrong because no one can recover from hiv, it just doesn’t happen.”

the tests were re-checked by the chelsea and westminster healthcare nhs trust when stimpson threatened litigation believing there must be a mistake, but the results confirmed all the tests had been accurate.

in a letter understood to be from the nhs litigation authority in october this year, stimpson was told: “the fact you have recovered from a positive antibody result to a negative result is exceptional and medically remarkable.”

the trust said there had been several other cases of claimed “spontaneous clearance” of the virus worldwide, although it is not believed any have been proved. a spokeswoman added that the trust had urged stimpson to return for tests, but that so far he had not done so.

times online


The Spikedhumor Drawing!Drawing Coming Soon!
Prize
Entry Dates: 9/8/2007-9/14/2009

From Our Sponsors