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a korean clock lady who can't say the word clock.
the anemone clock is the only alarm clock that you have to chase around when it sounds, and is the only alarm clock to shake you awake when you pick it up. i created this alarm clock because all other alarm clocks are simply too easy to turn off, which leads back to sleeping, hence waking up late.
for all you math geniuses out there, this is the clock for you
not your average clock.
this is a redundant clock. and this is a redundant description.
what does the word clock in a chinese accent sound like?
guy rigs 110v to his buddies alarm clock..
idiot has trouble stealing a damn clock in a fast food restaurant.
a guy slowly plays clocks on the piano for you.
a man died and went to heaven. as he stood in front of st. peter at the pearly gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
he asked, "what are all those clocks?"
st. peter answered, "those are lie clocks. everyone on earth has a lie clock. every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
"that's mother teresa's. the hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."
"incredible," said the man. "and whose clock is that one?"
st. peter responded, "that's abraham lincoln's clock. the hands have moved twice, telling us that abe told only two lies in his entire life."
"where's president bush's clock?" asked the man.
"bush's clock is in jesus' office. he's using it as a ceiling fan."
this man went to heaven and at the pearly gates saint peter met him to show him around. as they were walking around heaven the man noticed all these clocks sitting around and asked st. peter what they were for. st. peter replied, "every person that is still alive down on earth has a clock that is monitoring that person. and every time a person tells a lie the clock's hand will move one click.
for instance, see that clock over there that is moving one click every five minutes?... well that is john benson a car salesman and every time he tries to close a deal he tells a lie and the clock's hand moves one click. see that clock over there that has cobwebs and rust over it?... well that is for widow mary, she never tells a lie and goes to church every sunday, she is one of the best." so the man looks around and says, 'well, where is bill clinton's clock???'. st. peter just smiled and said, "hell, we use his clock for a ceiling fan!!!"
some asshole created an alarm clock that wakes you up by firing four puzzle pieces in the air, then you have to get the pieces and put them back in the alarm clock - it won’t turn off until then.
a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night. when they made it to the bedroom, they saw a big brass gong next to the bed.
"what's a big brass gong doing in your bedroom?" one of the guests asked.
"it's not a gong. it's a talking clock," the drunk replied.
"a talking clock? seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"yup," replied the drunk.
"how's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"watch," the drunk replied. he picked up the mallet, gave it an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. the three stood looking at one another for a moment.
suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "you asshole, it's three o'clock in the morning!"
a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night, and led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet. "what's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked. "it's not a gong it's a talking clock," the drunk replied. "a talking clock? seriously?" asked his astonished friend. "yup," replied the drunk. "how's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it. "watch," the drunk replied. he picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound, and stepped back. the three stood looking at one another for a moment. suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "you asshole...it's three-fifteen in the morning!"
instead of throwing away an old hard drive, this guy decided to make his a nifty looking clock full of glowing lights.
thanks for sending this in, pedrodonkey!
a man goes into a repair shop to get his watch fixed. but when he sees that the girl running the store is extremely hot, he unzips his pants and lays his johnson on the counter. sir, what are you doing? this is a clock shop! the shocked girl shouts. i know, he replies. i'd like to get a pair of hands and a face put on this.
howard stern prank calls a chinese woman that can't say clock. you're gonna be laughing your ass off when you hear this.
while proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. "what's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked. "why, that's the talking clock" the man replied. "how does it work?" "watch", the man said, giving it an ear-shattering pound with a hammer. suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, "for fuck's sake, you wanker, it's 2 am in the fucking morning!!"
this is a cell phone alarm clock tone a made composed of bits and pieces of dane cook stand up....gotta fucking love it...............sufi!
thom yorke playing 'the clock' live. an acoustic version. absolutely amazing performance!
the corpus clock has been invented and designed by dr john taylor for corpus christi college cambridge for the exterior of the college's new library building.
the other night i was invited out for a night with "the girls." i told my husband that i would be home by midnight. "i promise!" well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, i headed for home. just as i got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
quickly realizing my husband would probably wake up, i cuckooed another 9 times. i was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
the next morning my husband asked me what time i got in, and i told him midnight. he didn't seem disturbed at all. (whew! got away with that one!).
then he said, "we need a new cuckoo clock."
when i asked him why, he said, "well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "oh, crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and farted."
painful mornings.
an old clip from the early days of rock
