Spiked Humor Crave Online

Video:

avoid the reporters

in this game the object is to avoid the reporters at all costs and you are armed with pies to toss at them when they are in range.

• 3.0375/5
• 2036
• 5
• 8/3/2007
• by DaVyWaVyBaBy

Video:

man jumps from moving car to avoid argument

police say the man found injured on i-25 friday night apparently leapt from a moving vehicle to avoid a verbal argument with his significant other.

the man was found injured on southbound i-25 just north of colfax avenue on friday night.

denver police say the car was being driven by either the man's wife or girlfriend. they say the woman refused to stop or pull over during the argument, so the man jumped out of the moving car.

authorities say the man suffered non-life-threatening road rash.

source: 9news.com

• 3.8075/5
• 2119
• 10
• 8/28/2007
• by DaVyWaVyBaBy

Video:

boy avoids church by cruising

plain city, utah — police in utah say a 7-year-old boy led officers on a car chase in an effort to avoid going to church.

dispatchers received reports of a child driving recklessly on sunday morning. weber county sheriff's capt. klint anderson says one witness said the boy drove through a stop sign.

anderson says two deputies caught up with the boy and tried unsuccessfully to stop the dodge intrepid in an area about 45 miles north of salt lake city. the car reached 40 mph before the boy stopped in a driveway and ran inside a home.

anderson says when the boy's father later confronted him, the boy said he didn't want to go to church. the boy is too young to prosecute and no citations were issued, although police did urge the father to make his car keys more inaccessible to children.

source

• 4.5936/5
• 1410
• 14
• 7/29/2009
• by bajaboy

Video:

how wordwide economic collapse was avoided

at 2 minutes, 20 seconds into this c-span video clip, rep. paul kanjorski of pennsylvania explains how the federal reserve told congress members about a "tremendous draw-down of money market accounts in the united states, to the tune of $550 billion dollars." according to kanjorski, this electronic transfer occurred over the period of an hour or two.

• 4.2078/5
• 2818
• 29
• 2/11/2009
• by Pfeil

Video:

avoiding traffic tickets

oh kids.

• 4.6743/5
• 3290
• 3
• 3/21/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

snowstorm tragedy, it could have been avoided!

bush fails to prevent east coast blizzard; minorities hit hardest.

by brian williams nbc 02/12/06 (not really)

as president bush and his staff cowered in the white house, the snow continued to pile up on the many poor and african amercian victims who could not afford to get out of town or to safety in florida. crucial supplies of blankets, hot cocoa, popcorn and dark rum - so essential to surviving the stress of any major snowstorm - lay in stores undelivered.

"where is the government? i need my sidewalk shovelled so i can get out to buy my damn lottery tickets!" said one d.c. resident from his living room.

"why are we wasting money in iraq when we could be spending it here on me?"

progressive blogs blasted the president for his inaction.

we find the timing terribly suspicious - just as the domestic spying hearings kick into high gear, what happens? a major northeast blizzard. why now?"

hearings into the blizzards' effect on hearings are almost a certainty.

howard dean has suggested he will call for an investigation once his new medications kick in and john kerry took a break from the sporting activitiesof the glamorous super-rich in some exotic locale (random choice: ice sailing in finland) to call for new legislation outlawing snowstorms.

"the republican congress has dropped the ball once again. i have always been a staunch supporter of anti-snow legislation, except for certain locations where i ski. snow has no business on our roads and the president and congress knows that."

calls for impeachment over "snowgate" as some are calling it already are mounting as deeply as the snow itself, and what will be discovered underneath will prove to have a truly chilling effect on the republicans, as the inevitable thaw proceeds. or something like that.

more breaking news...... al sharpton wants an investigation as to why snow is always white.

cheney has stock in tru-value hardware. do you have any idea how many snow shovels they sold today to the unsuspecting consumer?

i demand to know why fema has been so late in reacting to this storm. they knew it was coming! and yet they failed to have crews in place to fix the electricity as soon as it went off. it just shows that bush and the republicans just don't care about the people in the n.e. the senate needs to investigate this with administration people under oath.

i'll bet that the great junior senator from n.y. has opened the doors of her home to all of the heatless poor of her neighborhood and is busy baking cookies for them while her husband applies body heat to the nearly frozen teen-aged girls.

• 3.5905/5
• 575
• 0
• 2/19/2006
• by specter

Video:

how to avoid a ticket

lucky cop.

• 3.4059/5
• 5784
• 11
• 6/19/2006
• by Duxas

Video:

avoid the noid!

i hate that pesty noid!

• 3.4167/5
• 474
• 2
• 6/19/2006
• by Order_66

Video:

avoid toxic waste

may cause adverse health risks.

• 4.0131/5
• 2945
• 9
• 12/23/2006
• by obcrip

Video:

avoiding sharks

"on the oceanic reefs, turtles have to play a delicate dance to avoid presenting a tasty meal for the sharks swimming through the waters. this act becomes more intense at night-time. from the bbc's turtle's guide to the pacific."

• 4.4705/5
• 1194
• 4
• 9/12/2009
• by ShapeSphere

Video:

president musharraf resigns to avoid impeachment

pakistani president pervez musharraf, a key western ally in the fight against terrorism, has resigned rather than being forced out by his political enemies.

the former chief of the army announced his decision in a televised address last night - hours before pakistan's parliament was to have launched impeachment proceedings against him.

a grim-faced mr musharraf said he was resigning to "bring the nation out of turmoil".

"impeachment would destabilize the country," he said. "after viewing the situation and consulting legal advisers and political allies, with their advice i have decided to resign."

mr musharraf, 65, who seized power in a military coup in 1999, had been under intense pressure from the governing coalition to step down before it launched the first impeachment proceedings in pakistan's 61-year history.

his resignation clears the way for the four-month-old government to choose a new president.

but there were intense concerns in washington that mr musharraf's departure would open a new era of instability in the nuclear-armed country of 165 million people.

his announcement was greeted with demonstrations of joy in the streets of lahore and other cities, and was hailed by the son of slain former pakistani prime minister benazir bhutto.

"after the martyrdom of my mother i said that democracy was the best revenge - and today it was proved true," said 19-year-old bilawal bhutto zardari, chairman of the pakistan people's party.

asif ali zardari, his father, is the effective chief of the ppp and is reported to be in the running to replace mr musharraf.

the party won the most seats in elections in february and now leads a coalition government that also includes the party of nawaz sharif, the former prime minister ousted by musharraf.

mr musharraf's popularity plunged last year after he sacked opponents in the supreme court and called a state of emergency. he was severely weakened when his political allies were trounced in the february elections.

he was also backed into a corner by the resurgence of islamic militants in the tribal areas along pakistan's border with afghanistan, who launched a wave of attacks last year that left more than 1000 people dead.

pakistanis gathered around television sets across the nation last night to listen to a tired-looking mr musharraf deliver an hour-long speech, in which he said he had helped establish law and order, improve democracy and human rights and boost the country's stature. "on the map of the world pakistan is now an important country, by the grace of allah," mr musharraf said.

he dismissed accusations of misconduct that would have been on a "charge sheet" against him. "not one charge against me can be proved," he said.

he concluded emotionally, raising his clenched fists and declaring: "long live pakistan!"

responding to the announcement, us secretary of state condoleezza rice last night paid tribute to mr musharraf, saying he had been "a friend to the united states and one of the world's most committed partners in the war against terrorism and extremism."

she urged pakistan's political leaders to "redouble their focus on pakistan's future and its most urgent needs, including stemming the growth of extremism".

a spokesman for british prime minister gordon brown also praised mr musharraf, but said relations with pakistan did not depend on one individual.

australian foreign minister stephen smith called for political stability in pakistan. "it is important that the government of pakistan now moves with purpose to tackle the security and economic challenges facing the country," he said.

india declined to comment, with the foreign ministry describing it as an "internal matter" for pakistan.

a whisky-tippling moderate, mr musharraf won praise for trying to tackle militants and for presiding over record economic growth. he has also shown steely nerve in what has been dubbed the world's most dangerous job - he escaped at least three assassination attempts.

he joked about leaving the running of the country to the government and playing tennis and golf instead, but his real sport has been holding power. he has named as role models napoleon and richard nixon - two men known, among other things, for their tenacity.

source

to hell with the bhutto family.

• 4.2265/5
• 1516
• 10
• 8/18/2008
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

man stabs himself to avoid work

a 29-year-old man who claimed he was attacked and stabbed by three people - skinheads or hispanic males - confessed monday night that he stabbed himself because he didn't want to go to work, edgewater police said today.

the man, aaron siebers, walked into his employer, the blockbuster video store at 1921 sheridan about 6:30 p.m. monday, and reported the attack. he said the trio was dressed in black.

siebers, of denver, had a deep stab wound to the lower leg plus several superficial knife wounds, according to steve davis, spokesman for the edgewater police department.

five police agencies responded to the scene. in addition to edgewater police, the jefferson county sheriff's department, mountain view police, lakeside

police and lakewood police department officers set up a large perimeter and began a manhunt for the suspects.

k-9 units were brought into search for the perpetrators.

siebers was taken to saint anthony's hospital where he was treated. he received numerous stitches to close the leg wound, said davis.

davis said detectives went to the hospital and interviewed siebers and also reviewed videos from a nearby target store, which had numerous surveillance cameras. a review of the cameras showed no attack had taken place near the target store as siebers claimed, said davis.

after siebers was released from the hospital, detectives again questioned him. they confronted him with the evidence from the surveillance cameras and his changing stories about who attacked him, said davis.

at that point, siebers confessed and told them he stabbed himself because he didn't want to go to work, said the police spokesman.

davis said siebers had taken a bus from denver to the blockbuster store in edgewater. the surveillance video from the target store showed him walking from the bus stop to the store without any indication he was suffering from a deep stab wound, said davis.

siebers was arrested and charged with false reporting and obstructing a police officer, both misdemeanors. he was taken to the jefferson county jail.

"if you are going to concoct a story about being stabbed, don't do it near a target store," said davis.

source

• 4.5847/5
• 980
• 7
• 11/5/2009
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

man hides in la drain for 12 hours to avoid arrest

los angeles – a burglary suspect who tried to evade police by hiding in a narrow storm drain under a busy freeway for 12 hours finally agreed to give himself up after speaking to a local tv reporter on his cell phone.

the man resisted multiple applications of tear gas, a police dog, negotiators, an improvised plunger and a professional urban search-and-rescue firefighter, authorities said. but police and fire officials credit kabc-tv reporter leo stallworth with opening the communication that led to the man's safe surrender tuesday.

the suspect crawled into the storm drain — 18 inches wide by 80 feet long — and wedged himself inside after officers found him and another man allegedly attempting to steal copper wire from a san fernando valley warehouse, deputy police chief michel moore said.

"we applied tear gas on more than one occasion," moore said. "we stopped because we thought he'd suffocate to death. just the way he resisted the tear gas was amazing."

the man's determination to stay put challenged the creativity of rescuers.

firefighters fashioned a plunger with a heavy climbing rope, a large plywood disk and several canvas bags, fire spokesman capt. steve ruda said. but when they threaded the rope through the pipe and started to pull, the suspect used a knife to cut the rope.

just as firefighters were about to jerry-rig another plunger with a cable, the man called his girlfriend on his cell phone.

"he's 30 feet underground, and somehow he has cell coverage," moore said. "the girlfriend calls the news media, and he gets on the phone with channel 7."

kabc-tv later broadcast the audio of the conversation between the reporter and the suspect.

"the question is, why won't you come out?" stallworth asked.

"'cause i hate leaving my freedom," the man said from inside the pipe.

"you're in a storm drain. is there any freedom in there?" stallworth asked. "your girlfriend wants you to come out. she's called the station. your children want you to come out. at some point you're going to have to face the music."

stallworth and police negotiators eventually talked the man into surrendering, ruda said. the suspect emerged from the bottom of the hole dirty, shirtless and scratched. police trained their guns on him until he gave up his knife, he said.

he was arrested on suspicion of burglary, moore said.

source

• 4.6129/5
• 1393
• 8
• 6/17/2009
• by bajaboy

Video:

boy glues hand to avoid school

thanks for the article, digidante.

a mexican boy glued his hand to his bed because he did not want to go back to school after the christmas break

"the holidays were such fun," diego palacios, 10, who lives outside monterrey, told reforma newspaper.

his mother sandra found him watching television with his hand stuck to the bedstead. "i don't know why he did it," she said. "he is a good boy."

police and paramedics eventually managed to free him unharmed, and he was only a few hours late for school.

diego had got up early to fetch some industrial-strength glue from the kitchen.

his mother spent two hours trying to free him with nail-polish remover before calling for expert help.

diego watched cartoons while paramedics dissolved the glue with a spray.

source

have any interesting articles you'd like to share?
article request thread.

• 4.2692/5
• 2274
• 22
• 1/8/2008
• by InsayneJayne

Video:

officer avoids dog

a dog tries to attack and the officer defends himself the best way he can.

• 4.1084/5
• 5134
• 27
• 7/23/2007
• by mag1kr3zin